Age It Like a Case of Fine Wine (originally published March 7, 2009)

So by now I’m sure everyone has heard of the Worst Client Ever, the man who seized a moment of downtime in the courtroom to shank the judge. He was shot and killed by courtroom deputies and the judge, who was injured, will be fine.

Public defenders have a sometimes low opinion of the police officers who “testi-lie” but we (WE! once a public defender, always a public defender, at least in spirit) love courtroom deputies. Most California courtrooms are protected nowadays by sheriff’s deputies, who serve many of the functions once performed by bailiffs. Nothing demonstrates more viscerally how important the job of the courtroom deputy is than a case like this. People die from shanks all the time (usually prisoners killing other prisoners during transition or passing times when groups are moving from one place to another) and the life of this judge was in serious peril.

We have all dealt with nightmare clients who act out, who are rude to the judge, who make faces, etc etc. If this guy is the Worst Client Ever, I want to introduce you to the Best Client Ever (or at least the funniest, or at least the oldest; any public defender will tell you to keep continuing his case until he dies), this 91 year old man arrested recently for soliciting prostitution in Lake Elsinore. The Full Value Review has published their mug shots. I love the “you got me” look on the face of the fourth man down (the one with heavy horn rimmed glasses.) As per IE crime regulations at least one of the guys uses the non-traditional spelling of his name: Jhonny (I saw a lot of “Phreddy” and “Stievie” so Jhonny just fits.)

PS – If you are one of the local (presumably female) officers selected to pose as decoy Lake Elsinore crack hos, that should tell you it’s time for a makeover!

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